UK border control exchange:
I present my passport and my completed landing card to the custom agent at the Paris Eurostar terminal.
The agent takes my card, looks at it, gasps loudly and bolts upright
Custom agent: “OH MY GOD!”
Me: *sweating profusely * “Oh sorry, did I not fill it out properly?”
Custom agent: “Oh my goodness no!! Your profession!!!??
The agent in the booth next to us glances over his shoulder with a curious look in our direction
Me: *confused* “Physical Therapist?”
The agent begins to laugh hysterically, out loud. Loudly.
Custom agent: “There’s a space between the ‘e’ &the ‘r’. I thought it said ‘the rapist’!!!”
As she continues howling with laughter, I assure her repeatedly that I am indeed physical therapist and nothing else.
Custom agent: “And what will you be doing in the UK? Oh wait, don’t tell me, I might not want to know!”
She’s laughing so hard at this point that curious onlookers and other agents are staring & pointing at me.
Me: “Just visiting, I promise! I love the UK. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! Cheerio. Bangers and mash. Where’s the loo?”
The agent carefully folds my landing card and puts it in her pocket
Custom agent: “I’m keeping this. Have a good trip.”
As I cross into the UK, I hear her speaking to the other agents nearby.
Custom agent: ” Listen to this, I thought it said, the rapist”….
The next step of my adventure is off to an interesting start…